Pam Shor

I am feeling better for some reason.  It's 7:30 and suddenly, my body has decided to take a break from its malaise and feel better.  Maybe it's the accupuncture   Maybe it was the smiling face of my daughter coming in (repeatedly) to make sure I was alright, maybe it was the walk my husband offered to take with me in the waning hour of sunshine. What ever the cause, I feel a better and thought it might be worth taking the time to write about the events of the past day or so.  

Tired.  Very tired.  Sleeping.  Trying to find things that taste good to eat.  Seeing the acupuncturist this afternoon, hoping she will have some magic needles to make me feel a bit like myself again.  Someone said the biggest side effect of chemo is boredom.  It can see her point.  The Doctor tells me I should be substantially better in thre days.  I am hoping he is right.  But I figure if I am too lazy to do anything, then my cancer cells are too.  Thanks for reading even when I have nothing to say.

This should be a thoughtful, meaningful post, I know.  It is the first chemo, there should be insights.   But I think this is going to be little more than an update.  I'm do more later if I feel up to it.  The chemo process went great.  We sat down at 9:30 and were done by 12:30.  But some of the drugs are taking thier toll.

Today, I scheduled a date to have my head shaved. Most likely I will have the hair made into a wig.  I would like to look as much like myself as I can throughout this process.  It is amazing, the comfort that idea brings.  I could look like myself.

In the mirror, the reflection would be familiar.

To the UPS driver, things will appear unchanged.  

It's Monday.  Chemo starts Wednesday.  Wednesday feels like a line dividing my before life from my after life.  It is most certainly the line dividing sickness from health.  But its more than that.

My new boobs.  For those who are easily offended by such things, be forewarned, the word boob or breast and perhaps even nipple may appear more than once in the following post.  If you are uncomfortable with such things, avert your eyes now.  You have been warned.

Today I meet with the oncologist.  It think we will be finalizing a chemo plan.  I say I think because I've gotten to the edge of this cliff before only to have been pulled back at the last minute.