Pam Shor

Ryann and Marc come to visit me my first afternoon in the hospital  Both are so helpful and supportive its hard for me to believe.  Ryann brings flowers and a much appreciated smoothie.  Miller calls from school every chance she gets.  I am incredibly lucky to have such a family.

Oddly, I haven't thought much about the breasts yet.  I was thrilled to hear that there wasn't any more cancer than expected, at least not to the surgeons eyes.  One can't be sure about these things until the path comes back, of course.  But to the naked eye, all looked good.  

I follow instructions.  No aspirin or ibuprofen for two days.  High protein, high fiber meals.  Lots of water.  Nothing to eat or drink after midnight.  Sleep well.  And wash.  I buy a blue bottle of antiseptic skin cleaner and I wash.  I wash the night before.  I wash the morning of.  I clean and sterilize the area for removal.  I will not wash my breast again.  The next it me I shower, they will be gone.  

It is a pound of flesh I am prepared to pay.  

We head off to the hospital as a family and I am not afraid.

Here's a video of Kelly Corrigan reading from her book, Middle Place.  She is explaining what it was like to lose her hair to cancer.  Well timed since mine is supposed to come off tomorrow.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfpTchv15Xs
 
enjoy!

It's still about the hair.  Not sure why, but the hair seems like so monumental.  I mean, I have a life threatening disease that will need to be killed with a frightening arsenal.  And Im worried about the hair?  Am I really that shallow?

 
Saw this and thought YES, that's exactly how I feel.
Once I seemed lovable, but as the disease takes parts of me and the treatment makes it difficult to recognize myself, I wonder:  Is what lies within enough for the world outside?
 
Take a look at the interview and the exhibit.  The images are pretty interesting.
http://www.themorningnews.org/gallery/wild-animals