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When bad things happen

Published by pam on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 10:17am


Writers are told not to hold back when it comes to sticking it to their characters.  We are too nice to them.  We never make them go through the REALLY hard things.  We like them too much.  Maybe because on some level, they are us.  We don't want them to suffer.  



Published by pam on Sun, 03/18/2012 - 2:33pm




Published by pam on Sun, 03/18/2012 - 2:27pm


So this is it?

Published by pam on Sun, 03/18/2012 - 2:22pm


First day in the hospital

Published by pam on Sun, 03/18/2012 - 2:00pm


Ryann and Marc come to visit me my first afternoon in the hospital  Both are so helpful and supportive its hard for me to believe.  Ryann brings flowers and a much appreciated smoothie.  Miller calls from school every chance she gets.  I am incredibly lucky to have such a family.


Oddly, I haven't thought much about the breasts yet.  I was thrilled to hear that there wasn't any more cancer than expected, at least not to the surgeons eyes.  One can't be sure about these things until the path comes back, of course.  But to the naked eye, all looked good.  

I survive round one

Published by pam on Thu, 03/15/2012 - 2:56pm



Published by pam on Thu, 03/15/2012 - 2:44pm


I follow instructions.  No aspirin or ibuprofen for two days.  High protein, high fiber meals.  Lots of water.  Nothing to eat or drink after midnight.  Sleep well.  And wash.  I buy a blue bottle of antiseptic skin cleaner and I wash.  I wash the night before.  I wash the morning of.  I clean and sterilize the area for removal.  I will not wash my breast again.  The next it me I shower, they will be gone.  


It is a pound of flesh I am prepared to pay.  


We head off to the hospital as a family and I am not afraid.


From a friend

Published by pam on Mon, 03/12/2012 - 12:16pm

Here's a video of Kelly Corrigan reading from her book, Middle Place.  She is explaining what it was like to lose her hair to cancer.  Well timed since mine is supposed to come off tomorrow.

The wig maker

Published by pam on Mon, 03/12/2012 - 11:09am


It's still about the hair.  Not sure why, but the hair seems like so monumental.  I mean, I have a life threatening disease that will need to be killed with a frightening arsenal.  And Im worried about the hair?  Am I really that shallow?


Kind of how I feel - like a stuffed bear turned inside out

Published by pam on Sat, 03/10/2012 - 9:07am

Saw this and thought YES, that's exactly how I feel.
Once I seemed lovable, but as the disease takes parts of me and the treatment makes it difficult to recognize myself, I wonder:  Is what lies within enough for the world outside?
Take a look at the interview and the exhibit.  The images are pretty interesting.