Hunkering down

Published by pam on Wed, 03/07/2012 - 4:15pm

Friends are amazing.  I need to cook.  I need to put some food in the freezerso we'll be ready for the aftermath of surgery.  We don't have a kitchen.  CID I mention that?  We are remodeling our kitchen.  There is dust everywhere.  It's hard to cook.  There is detritus on every open surface.  Clutter grows into every empty space like moss.  But I need food, so my older daughter and I pack up our stuff and go to cook at a friend's house.   We make two lasagnas, two pans of macaroni and cheese, and a vat of high mineral vegetable broth to be used in soups.  It took about two and a half hours from start to if finish.  All cooking should be done like this.  It was social.  We cook for an afternoon, but we could eat for a week. My daughter is inspiring.  She talks about going boob shopping, she talks about the bras I could wear if I get tidy little implants.  She debates what size may tidy little implants should be.  She makes me feel like things aren't going to be so bad, that I won't be alone, that she will be right there to pick me up when I fall.  A daughter shouldn't have to do that for her mom, but something tells me we'll both be stronger for it.  I think she's always felt displaced by her younger sister.  She hasn't always had the easiest time connecting with me.  She feels judged so much of the time.  She feels like she'll never bee good enough.  But she is.  She always has been.  Maybe she'll see that now,  maybe she'll see herself reflected in my eyes and realize how extraordinary she is.  There are gifts that come along the way.  Perhaps this is one of them.